My Makayla Jo

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June 6, 2002 (4 days past my due date) little ms. makayla joan came into my world! I was sick and miserable for 9 months (my worst pregnancy), i was in labor for 30 something hours, pushed for almost 2 hours and ended in an emergency c-section. I was so exhausted and sick from a fever afterwards that to this day I couldn’t tell you much of her birth or even a few hours after (I didn’t get to see her til about 10 hours later). When I finally did get to meet her I was so scared to hold her that I told her dad my arm hurt too much from the IV. She may have been my worst pregnancy, but she was THE BEST baby, she was so quiet, sometimes I had to wake her up to eat and change her diaper because she slept so much! I was so excited to have a little girl, I remember I prayed and prayed and prayed weeks before my ultrasound that she was a girl and how excited I was when they said ITS A GIRL!
Fast Forward 13 years…
She will be 14 this June, and i honestly can’t believe how fast time goes by. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think about how big she’s getting and just want to sit there and cry. 4 more years and she’s an adult! AN ADULT!! I am not ready for that. Sometimes she is the biggest drama queen and I think to myself, self you should just stab yourself in the foot with a dull rusty knife surely it would be less painful then putting up with a teenage daughter! Then there are other times when I just look at her and say she is the most beautiful girl and has such a funny personality, and shes so fun to be around. I’m so scared for her to go out in the world, on her own, without me! I don’t want her to grow up! I don’t want any of my kids to grow up! I remember the first time she told me she hated me, well she didn’t tell me, she wrote it in a note and gave it to me when she was 5, it was my first mommy heartbreak, I ran to my room and cried and cried and cried some more. I remember the first time she said I love you, it was the sweetest words I ever heard with her sweet little voice.
I can’t be with her 24/7 as much as I would like to so I can make sure she is making the right choices in life, but I always tell her I trust you to make the right choice, use your brain you’re smart don’t do anything that will break my trust.
All us good parents want for our children is for them to grow up and become amazing adults and have a happy enjoyable life. She will always be my baby, but I can’t wait to see what an amazing adult she will turn into.
“Someday when the pages of my life end, I know that you will be one of Its most beautiful chapters” -Unknown
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